Jesus and Mary Go to Tampa 

After the cattle completed their lowing,
and the three Wise Men returned to Afar,
after the Star in the East ran out of hydrogen
and began to grow dim,
Jesus and Mary went to Tampa.

They stopped at Hamburger Mary’s,
a burger joint known for its inclusiveness.
There on County Road 574, they stumbled upon
Drag Bingo, and a show called Daphne’s Doll House.
Having tired of challah and soup,
Mary ordered the Hot Legs tossed in special sauce,
and, as a side, the Hail Caesar Salad.
while Jesus ordered off the menu for Little Lambs.

Upon hearing her name called out by the wait staff,
Mary stepped up to the mic for Mary-Oke.
As Mary crooned to Madonna’s Like a Virgin,
Jesus left room for dessert of fried bananas foster,
trying to erase the taste of hay from his mouth.

After that, the manager got an inkling
these two were on their way to stardom.
As Mary and Jesus prepared to leave,
she asked Mary to stand against
the blank wall nearest the kitchen
and drew a feint chalk outline around her.

She let them exit through the back door,
en route to San Marco, Texas for the outlet malls.
Meanwhile, the rest of Tampa flocked
to Hamburger Mary’s, lining the county road
to see the miracle they had just missed.

In reference to a news item about Mary’s image showing up in a Tampa Bay restaurant.


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